Despite the irregular posts, I actually have a plan to stay on track and to get at least 1 post out a week.
But these past few weeks have been...painful.
I had struggled with hope and only had the will to breathe (and walk and eat. Sleeping and talking were not in this list).
I'm slowly getting my mojo back but it's hard. I consider myself a source for people to lean on and to confide in and a source of encouragement.
How do you encourage yourself?
My daughter has a rare heart condition. Each time we go to the doctors for her regular checkup (a hellish experience in itself) I keep hoping for good news, a miraculous sign.
I believe God can heal her, but *will* He?
So to hear the same song from her doctor was heartbreaking. After 2 years, I was hoping for *some* improvement.
She's fine (for now) but her doctor paints a very bleak picture of her future if we don't get this surgery (which may lead to more surgeries in her future) for her. I cannot picture her little chest being opened and stopping her heart for a procedure that has not been widely practiced by a surgeon who's purpose might be 'been there, done that' attitude.
It is hard to walk and talk with this looming desperation over you.
It is hard to breathe when there's no one you can completely trust to hold you up and not break down with you.
It is hard to look into your only child's eyes and wonder if this will be the last moment you will ever see them staring back at you.
No comments:
Post a Comment