Thursday, 6 October 2016

Neither fish nor fowl

Ever since I gave birth to the most beautiful baby in the world, I had always wondered about the differences in being a stay at home mom (SAHM) or a working one. I am currently a working one and while I recognize that this is the best decision for the current phase in my life, I often wonder how it would be like to be a SAHM.

During my 2 months of maternity leave (employer, WHY YOU NO GIVE 3 MONTHS?), I had a taste of being a SAHM. While I was still pregnant, I envisioned my leave to be a blissful time; juggling house chores that I never could get started (let alone finish) and taking care of a well-behaved, always napping baby.

That’s what newborns do, right?

In reality, I had days when I was loosing my mind, stressing out about finishing the laundry before my little baby needed another feed from me (I breastfed exclusively). The hurried pace, lack of sleep (because of my own doing - not the baby’s) and trying to do it all eventually had me wishing I was back at work.
At least at work, I could sip a beverage at the water cooler, instead of forgetting to drink water due to all the juggling (true story!). At work, there were times when the lunch hour was an hour of no work. Being a SAHM meant taking bites from your plate of fried rice while washing the dishes (multitasking at it’s finest). At work, I could daydream during meetings. If I daydream at home, I’d fall asleep and get nothing done. The horror!

Once my maternity leave was up, I reluctantly went back to work, leaving my beautiful baby in the caring and confident hands of my mother. All should be starting to look good right now, right?

Wrong.

At home, I get to sniff my baby’s head anytime I want to, instead of just longingly looking at her pictures sent by my mom periodically. At home, I was on my own schedule. I could eat when I was hungry, pump when I needed to and only adhere of the cooing sounds of my little angel, but at work it was all about a strict schedule. My first (very painful) blocked duct happened within the first week of work. At home, if my baby ever needed anything (especially milk) I was a mere mini-second away. But if I had short milk supply (which happened often) I’d have to drive at least an hour to get to her.

It is very frustrating that the money I make is neither miniscule enough to abandon thoughts of career advancement (and instead embracing diapers full time), nor lucrative enough to buy my little one everything her heart desires (in exchange for one-on-one time with mommy). This fork in the road could not be more confusing.

To all SAHM, I salute you for the sacrifices you make and for those (like me) working moms, I salute you also for the sacrifices you make.
Double salute anyone?

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