Missing but alive

There’s too much on my plate because of my ambitious visit to the buffet of projects.

This is why I am missing 2 month’s worth of content.

It’s not that I had nothing to say (or write), it was just that I had so many that my thoughts were all over the place.

I’ve been pulling back on some on-going projects so that I can prioritize on the manageable ones (goodbye learning Spanish) I also needed to set realistic goals so that I can feel good when I achieve them (so long baking month). I believe I was trying to accomplish so much and was not recognizing my own limitations, that I sort of set myself up for failure.

I’m the type of person that gets joy from looking at all those checked boxes, all those crossed out items and all those neatly arranged freezer meals. Call it OCD, but I am happy when there are signs of organization in my life. To see a to-do list that was made weeks ago, just staring back at me, un-finish, mocking me and gathering dust puts me in an irritable mood. I beat myself up for not getting to that task sooner (or ever!) and then spiral into a state of depression, questioning my very existence.

So while I have slacked for the past two months, I have been driving myself crazy by beating myself up on neglecting this outlet. I have things to say, thoughts to transform and rants to write!

The direction of this blog is still not clear to me but I have decided that it’s not the most important part to deal with right now.

I have one clear goal; start creating content. Once I have that down, I’ll work on a bigger (and inevitably more complicated) target.

I don’t care if my entry for the week is something random, or an incomplete thought. I believe half the battle has been won if I can get it down on (virtual) paper.

Dear Universe, thank you for being patient with a scatter-brained, self-motivated, self-sabotaging and neurotic person. I like you, let’s try to be friends. I should warn you that the next few entries will be weird.

But you like weird, don’t you?